Posted by sunnydays on December 9, 2007, at 15:34:28
In reply to Re: not feeling close **abuse trigger?..... long, posted by Daisym on December 8, 2007, at 11:45:53
> Maybe you have become so anxious about feeling close or not feeling close that you aren't focused on your stuff. And in my experience, when I let go and talk about my stuff, we feel close. He is present and it isn't such a struggle to pry things out of me. I know it is hard not to keep a death grip on that connection -- it is really important. But if you can focus away from it, it usually naturally comes back.
**** The thing was, I was trying to focus on my stuff. And it was just this feeling I had. I think it really did come from the fact that I was distracted and having a hard time concentrating and not talking very much.
>
> The other thing that happens to me frequently is that when I'm really trying to tell him something that is upsetting but I can't get to it, and then he says, "let's leave it for now" -- I feel dropped. And sometimes scolded. There is relief from the adult side that wants to push it all away but the little kid feelings are abandoned by us both and I get angry and sad. Especially if it happens at the end of the week.**** Yeah. It's the first time I've not been able to tell him something except for one thing in the very beginning of therapy. So usually when he says we could move away, suddenly I'm able to tell him. But this time I just couldn't. And that was hard for me. And all the fears of him being disappointed in me came up.
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> And he has said that sometimes he wants to rescue me from what is clearly painful, so he might move us away from something too soon,and he needs to watch his own feelings around that.**** Yeah, my T has said he often finds himself wanting to do things for me, talk to my group therapists and stuff instead of making me do the hard things. But he's really good about not doing that. There were only about 15 minutes left in session when he said we could move away, and he knows I have a hard time leaving, so I imagine that's why the timing was the way it was.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:799382
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/799772.html