Posted by seldomseen on December 6, 2007, at 9:19:34
In reply to Re: when my analyst begins talking..., posted by rskontos on December 5, 2007, at 8:52:50
I'm so glad you were able to find comfort in my words. This january I will have been in therapy for 8 years and it has certainly been a tortuous road to healing.
Learning to love and learning to trust have been the center of my therapy. It's so odd, but being numb and alone is one kind of pain, but opening up to others is certainly another different kind of pain.
My therapist has certainly hurt me (not intentionally, but he did), he has also scared me to death and appeared to violate my trust.
I can not tell you the times I exploded at my therapist, threatened to quit, accused him of every bad thing possible.
But a little voice kept telling me not to bolt, to stay the course and to talk talk talk talk about how everything made me feel.
So much of my therapy was about learning to tolerate the let downs, the disappointments and the hurt while still valuing and nurturing the loving relationship.
I think learning to do this is the key to recovery (and I'm not there yet)and opening the door to all the wonderful things that other people can bring to your life.
I am continually amazed at the number of times on these boards that I have seen people that have been hurt beyond all recognition by their childhood, spouses etc... But miraculously we still maintain the desire to love.
It's a struggle to leave our defenses behind, but we still work and work and try and try.
The road in front of you is long, but it is worth the trip.
Keep talking to your therapist and keep reaching out to those parts of you that you don't like and seek to love those as well.
We'll be here.
I treat babble as therapy for therapy.
Love to you
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:798825
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/799085.html