Posted by muffled on September 30, 2007, at 20:02:47
In reply to Maybe I need a female T, I am sooo frusterated!, posted by happyflower on September 30, 2007, at 17:45:26
Sorry if I said a wrong thing HF.
Its just I used to think of evil too much....its a bit of a trigger for me. So now I try to stick with the messed up 'human' idea, cuz the alternative i don't think about.
There is no level of 'how bad' stuff was. Its...whats the word?...relative?, anyways, its like the same thing can happene to two diff people, but depending on theor makeup and life circumstance, the results can be quite diff. Also as mentioned in other threads, the nature of the abuse is affecting, also duration and age of abuse etc. There are SO many variables. There is no question your abuse was horrific and that your 'mother' has serious, serious issues, but that doesn't matter so much, levelwise, cuz its got so many variables.
Your pain is bad, no matter what.
Your 'mother' is seriuously f*ck*d, true.
But she also human, and not neccessarily evil incarnate.
I dunno if this makes sense.
So I am guessing the 'only human' thing is in no way meant to belittle the pain you must feel.
I guess its just a comment on the reality of this world.
It sucks.
In so many ways.
But then I heard my son give a funny belly laugh today.....and I am glad I still here, wrecked though I am, I am glad I was here to feel his laugh, and to join in and feel joy in my body.
So no matter whats happened to me, I enjoyed that moment.
So I goto not give up. I goto grow thru my adversity. I goto do what I can.
Its SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard sometimes to get thru the day, to understand what happens thats so horrific in this world, to go on despite it.
But I still here.
I hope to be here awhile.
HF, you are an amazing person. I think you got so much to offer.
As for female T I dunno.
As for this T, I dunno.
As for DISCUSSING this with this T, I say yes. At least give him a chance, and then if you walk away, its with a clear reality of what went on.
I wish you the best HF.
M
poster:muffled
thread:786055
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/786141.html