Posted by JoniS on June 1, 2007, at 13:26:36
In reply to ****suicide discussion thread*****, posted by gazo on May 31, 2007, at 19:11:15
Muffled,
I don't know if what I have to contribute will help or not but at least it surely wont hurt.
I have struggled with suicidal thoughts before when I was in pretty deep depression. I never carried it out, but I seriously considered it. Even as my depression has lightened considerably I still sometimes imagine it would be so good for me to run off the road and die in an "accident" Those thoughts occur less seldom now.
What has kept me from carrying it out? I guess first fear of pain. But second, my T explained to me how it impacts my family. My T's brother committed suicide and so my T knows first hand. So once I realized how my kids and my husband would blame themselves and never get over it, I was able to stop the thoughts from progressing.
Another thing that helped me, and maybe this is related to not hurting others, I realized that when I was suicidal, my world was revolving around "ME" When I start to think about other people and want to give or help others, it helps me overcome the suicidal thoughts.
The reason I was thinking of suicide was because I just thought life was too hard for me. I guess it was mostly the emotional and physical pain of depression, which for me is both situational and genetic. I still think life is hard, but I want to persevere. Why? maybe because a higher being created me and he knows better than me why I'm here. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. For now, that's what I'm trusting in.
I know we are all different, and my experience may be nothing like someone elses. I certainly don't for a minute suggest my solutions work for someone else and I don't look down on anyone who has suicidal thoughts. I can empathize.
hope this post - all the responses are helpful to you and others.
Joni
poster:JoniS
thread:760660
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/760764.html