Posted by DAisym on May 31, 2007, at 21:14:25
In reply to ****suicide discussion thread*****, posted by gazo on May 31, 2007, at 19:11:15
Have you read "Night Falls Fast"? It is a fascinating study of suicide and why people might do it.
I'm "lucky" enough to be able to talk about it when it comes up for me without too much fear of being slapped in a hospital. I agree, it ebbs and flows. Mostly for me, it is about not having the resources to face another hard thing, or to look in the mirror and know I've failed. And lately there is a lot of that.
Why haven't I? My children and a promise. As complicated and as simple as that. Sometimes I still feel it is inevitable, the pain gets overwhelming and unrelenting. Loss of hope and that cruel place of being alone in the crowd. I'm so aware it is self-chosen isolation, but it takes too much energy sometimes to push myself into a less dense experience.
And then the fog lifts, and I go forward. I don't know why and I feel foolish for "crying wolf." I'd give anything to make these thoughts go away and to take this "option" off the table once and for all. I get afraid of myself, for myself. Does that make any sense?
I'm sorry you know this place too.
poster:DAisym
thread:760660
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/760669.html