Posted by Honore on May 5, 2007, at 17:56:50
In reply to Re: last session w/ex-T, posted by pegasus on May 4, 2007, at 13:25:07
Pegasus, it sounds as if you're describing your fears, not what he would say, when you say that he was frustrated and wanted you to turn to your strengths, etc. It sounds as if he was wanting you to go away and not make so much trouble for him. And that he thought, with some satisfaction, that you had-- you were fine; he didn't need to worry or feel somehow that he had let you down. Somehow I don't think that's how it was.
But I think you need to ask. You want to know if you were special-- you want to ask if he missed you.
Not that his saying you were special will necessarily convince you-- but that his saying it, if he does, will help you to find, or look for and keep in mind, the part of you that can know-- You have to know from inside yourself== but you need him to tell you that you can trust that part of you that knows-- that it's not just fooling you, letting you believe a happy illusion.
Maybe you need to ask him if he knows how much of a loss you felt, how deep it went. If he doesn't know, maybe you also need to tell him more, and know that he does understand better.
But it seems to me, you're not giving yourself--and him-- enough credit either. I know you are-- but maybe you have to let that not be totally trumped by the parts of what you needed to do that didn't quite get down. Both are there-- but I'd hate to think the good parts got swallowed, or dwarfed, by the things that didn't quite get done.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:755778
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/756130.html