Posted by crushedout on May 2, 2007, at 13:32:22
In reply to Re: I've taken to taunting, posted by Rigby on May 2, 2007, at 13:23:46
> This sounds like it is *still* unresolved transference. You’re angry at how your therapy went for a variety of reasons. But chances are the deepest anger involves the fact that this woman did not become involved with you outside of therapy. Isn’t that why you chose your screen name to begin with?Oh, no. I have no regrets about not becoming involved with this woman outside of therapy. Seeing her blog has made that really clear for me. She's really kind of a loser. I'm angry at her for using me and taking my money and wasting so many years of my life with her gaslighting and other b.s. And I'm mad at her for thinking that she's perfectly justified in all of her behaviors.
> Maybe seeing her in a more realistic light will blow the transference away but the process sounds unhealthy and mean spirited and I don’t think, at the end of the day, will make you feel good about your self and your life. Given the fact that you are doing it all anonymously must mean it's something you're not real proud of.The transference is blown away--you are right. I see her in all her miserable glory. There is no room left to idealize. I'm not sure why you guys think it's such an unhealthy process when it's been almost the most healing thing I've done, it seems to me. Although what you say about it not making me proud of myself is the same as what I said.
And the reason I'm doing it anonymously is not so much out of shame as it is out of a desire not to *really* get involved. I really have NOTHING in this to be ashamed of. She has everything to be ashamed of. Don't you remember what she's like?
> As others have mentioned, discuss, hash out, focus on your anger and your feelings with your existing therapist—figure out what it’s really about and maybe then it can eventually resolve. Otherwise this and any dynamic like it, will haunt you for a long time to come.
The whole thing has already haunted me for way to long. That's why this is coming up. I've been hashing this out for FIVE YEARS now. It's done me no good. So, I'm trying something different.
Look, I didn't intend to get defensive about this but it's important to keep all sides of this in sight.
poster:crushedout
thread:755132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/755194.html