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Re: Why isn't this me? (long) *suicide trigger* » cubic_me

Posted by peddidle on March 25, 2007, at 19:01:50

In reply to Re: Why isn't this me? (long) *suicide trigger* » peddidle, posted by cubic_me on March 24, 2007, at 16:58:50

> Like Poet, I can relate to the dysthymia and negative feelings your having too. Infact the way you describe your suicidal thoughts sound so like mine it's scary. I've discussed it in the past with my T and my Pdoc and while both have asked about the thoughts, neither of them have really dwelled on it. or suggested I get any specific help for them. My pdoc thinks that once I'm feeling better in my mood the thoughts will disappear, although I have said that when I'm feeling OK I still get the thoughts.

**This is the first time I've discussed them with my T. So I guess I'll have to wait to see if she dwells on them. I don't think she was suggesting I change meds specifically for that reason, I think it was more like they are just another symptom of the dysthymia that she insists is getting worse.
>
> I don't know about you, but in an ideal world I wouldn't have these thougths as often, they can be distracting sometimes, since they can come when I'm least expecting it or when I'm in a stressful situation (which isn't the best time to stop concentrating!)

**Yeah, in an ideal world, I wouldn't have them [as often] either. They can be distracting and annoying. But, let's be honest, a lot of things would be different in an "ideal world."
>
>but I can understand how you don't want to change your medications in the middle of the semester; could you wait until a break? You can always say you'll discuss your meds with your pdoc, it doesn't mean you'll have to change them if they're suiting you, but a change might help if you feel they could do more for you.

**I can't really wait for a break because I see my pdoc through my college. To go to a different pdoc, I would have to tell my parents. I don't know why it bothers me so much to tell my parents that I want to change my meds (I don't want to change them, but for arguments sake...), but it does. That's another popular topic in therapy recently. Maybe I just don't want them to think it's worse than it really is. I don't know. Plus, that would mean I'm seeing a different pdoc over the summer, and I wouldn't be seeing my T for that entire time. That's seems like a bad idea to me.

Maybe I could make a deal with my T-- I'll talk the pdoc, but I won't change my meds. It's a pretty stupid compromise (and not really a compromise at all), so I doubt she'll fall for it, but it's the only way I can think of to get her to stop harping on it. lol

Thanks for your help. It's good to know I'm not the only one with these weird, annoying thoughts.

 

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