Posted by peddidle on March 25, 2007, at 18:46:17
In reply to Re: Why isn't this me? (long) *suicide trigger* » peddidle, posted by Poet on March 24, 2007, at 16:46:26
> Hi Pediddle,
>
> I am not in the best emotional state right now, but I wanted to try to respond to your post because being dysthymic I understand being negative, pesimistic, and suicidal.
>
> You wrote: I don't understand why this can't just be the way I am. Why am I not allowed to be this way? No, pessimism, negativity, etc. are not the best qualities to have, but neither are a lot of things. So I'm a pessimist, it's not good, but it's the way I am...why do I HAVE to be an optimist? If everything could be fixed by changing my meds, what am I even in therapy for?
>
> My T suggested that I try an AD, so I think it's pretty standard for them to suggest meds might help. Dr. Clueless always asks if I'm still seeing my therapist, so that leads me to believe that both T and pdoc believe a combination of meds and therapy are right for me. Though at the moment I am not on an AD, I just tapered off Effexor XR. I'm sure T is going to ask me when my next pdoc appointment is, and I suspect she's going to call her before it.**I agree. I actually prefer T's/pdocs who are open to the idea of combining meds with therapy. I haven't had any who weren't, but I can imagine there are some T's out there who are avidly opposed to meds, as well as pdocs who think all psychological problems are due to chemical imbalances. Come to think of it, my first pdoc/T was pretty big on the "oh, you're not in a good mood today? That means we need to increase your zoloft."
>
> I think your T asked you if you have a suicide plan because she needs to know if you are going to act on it.**No, I completely understand that. I was referring to how, even after I told her I didn't have a plan, she kept asking about the specific ways that I think about doing it; like, "would you eat a bunch of pills? Jump off a bridge?" etc. I just don't understand why that matters. I have suicidal thoughts that I'm not going to act on... do the details matter?
>
> It's good that your session wasn't one long fight, I've had enough of those.**I've never fought with my T *knocks on wood*. She would probably be thrilled if I did, though, to prove to her that I am capable of experiencing various emotions. I know, therapy isn't the place to suppress emotions, but I can't help it.
As always, thanks for your help, Poet. I hope you feel better soon.
poster:peddidle
thread:743732
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/744199.html