Posted by Poet on February 28, 2007, at 20:58:48
In reply to Anger and hurt, posted by annierose on February 28, 2007, at 16:11:27
Hi Annierose,
I am sending a long hard cyber slap to your T's head so she feels the pain you're feeling.
>> Then she cherrily asked, "So how was your vacation?" I paused maybe 3 minutes and said, "I feel like you don't have time for me anymore." She replied, "It's not about you."
I don't think that answered your question. I immediately thought of all the guys who broke up with me and said *it's me, not you* and wouldn't give me an actual reason to end the relationship. I think it's a statement people use to dodge a question they are afraid to answer or more so are afraid of how the person hearing it would react to the real reason. Another cyber slap for her being avasive.
> Basically she said when I am angry, I run with it. And that she felt attacked and wouldn't be "a whipping board".
Uh, isn't therapy supposed to be a place where we show all of our emotions, including anger? Ex pdoc used to ask me if I ever got angry at the therapist and I said no (at that point I hadn't.) He said *people get angry at me all the time, it's okay to get angry at your therapist or doctor.* Third cyber slap just sent.
> She kept telling me that I didn't understand how I come off to other people and it's her job to point this out. Geeze - don't you think you can be nice about it?I agree, I would instantly get defensive and angry if my T said something about me in a not tactful way. Okay, exception is when she said, you know I can see how people might think you're a B word. I smiled and said, I consider being a B word a compliment. She knew that.
> She also said, "You have a sharp tongue." Ouch. Is that a theraputic term used to address a client?I think she should reframe that thought (sorry I'm reframing thoughts in therapy these days) to be *you know, Annierose, sometimes what you say comes off sounding harsher than you probably meant it to be.*
>Can't anger be used for good?
I think so. I think it's better to let it out than hold it in. Anger comes up in my therapy because I have very intense anger for my brother. Just a have you seen your brother lately? Can set me off. I can't tell him what I want to, but I can tell my T. Maybe your T can't distinguish between projected anger and anger that is meant for her?
> If I quit therapy, I feel I gave it my best shot this time. I was courageous, I held little back. I will have no regrets. That means a great deal to me right now.I don't know what to say here. You've invested much time and energy to therapy, not to mention expense. I'm sorry your therapist is letting you down, that isn't right. Cyber slap number four just hit her on the head.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:737087
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/737176.html