Posted by Daisym on February 25, 2007, at 20:08:05
In reply to To Daisym: Re: Is it him or me?, posted by widget on February 24, 2007, at 3:03:30
I'm sorry you are going through a rough time in your own therapy. It hurts to get rejected and I think we've all felt that at one time or another.
I think I'm lucky in that my therapist makes it pretty easy to come back in and ask him about anything that has come up for me. He likes to say, "anything left over from yesterday?" Or he'll say, "I was thinking about how I phrased X and wondered if you had any thoughts about it too?" So I don't have to always be the one who brings stuff up again.
I've had fleeting sexual feelings for my therapist and I feel all different kinds of love for him. He handles those discussions with sensitivity and great respect. I'd bet money that if I asked him if he ever had sexual feelings for me, he wouldn't answer the question. He'd want to know why I was asking, and what I imagined. He'd wonder how it would effect me if he said yes, or if he said no. And if I pressed, he'd probably say that this was one of those questions that should go unanswered because neither answer would be beneficial. And this was my therapy, about me. So it would be more beneficial to talk about my sexual feelings for him and what they meant. Sometimes I hate that, but the few times it has happened, he's been right. If he'd answered the question, I'd have been hurt.
And you know, I think a lot of this comes down to pride for me. When I feel young, my pride goes out the window. I'll ask for the talisman, or tell him I want to be special. The adult part of me is mortified that I feel this and worse - I'm saying it! But it helps with the anguish that the younger parts carry and in the end, I do so much better when I let myself be connected and receive his support.
Therapy is hard, isn't it? I hope you had a peaceful weekend, inspite of everything that happened last week. It will get better.
poster:Daisym
thread:735515
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/736221.html