Posted by mair on February 23, 2007, at 22:26:28
In reply to Is it him or me?, posted by Daisym on February 23, 2007, at 20:23:25
Daisy - I've wondered about this same sort of question. I do find that sometimes I can take in so much more of what my T is offering, whether it be wisdom, insight, or emotional support - particularly emotional support. She seems different to me during sessions when we really connect, but it's more believable to me that I'm responding differently.
But maybe it's partly the Ts too, in this respect. Maybe Ts are a little more offering when they can see a glimmer of acceptance. It's not that your T is less caring at other times; but it may be that he senses a particular need and receptiveness and then capitalizes on it.
Also, I don't think you should look at your questions as "pushing the boundaries." It may again just be that your T sees this as a comfortable way of keeping those emotional ties strong. My T has been quite revealing at times, and I've suspected that sometimes she's done this to strengthen my sense of connection. I'm sure she wouldn't be as open if she thought I'd misuse the information, of if she was otherwise uncomfortable with it. I'm sure your T feels the same way.
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I also can well identify with your fears that he's going to recoil from having such a needy patient. But seriously, I've never thought your T was sending you those sorts of signals at all. And I know that I'm constantly projecting my own self-disgust onto my T. It makes sense after all - if you so devalue yourself, how can you expect someone else to really value you? I'm certain his view is very different; he's wishing in every possible way that you will allow him to take care of you until you are in a better place for taking care of yourself.
I think it's wonderful, and actually quite touching that your T gave you some visual images to help you feel that sense of connection and support over the weekend. ...And until you mentioned it, I really had not been paying enough attention to realize that the Academy Awards are coming up. Thank you for the reminder. (-;
mair
poster:mair
thread:735515
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/735557.html