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To Daisym: Re: Is it him or me?

Posted by widget on February 24, 2007, at 3:03:30

In reply to Is it him or me?, posted by Daisym on February 23, 2007, at 20:23:25

oh, Daisy, I really understand your question and feelings. Your therapist sounds like he is genuinely trying to help you and support you with what you need from him. I, too, need and want a lot from my therapist. I was in a similar position recently wondering if my therapist's comments and caring actions had more meaning behind them. I was just convinced he found me sexually attractive. Not that he would act on this nor did I want him to, just the validation that I am desirable. After many attempts during many sessions to ascertain the answer, it was finally addressed this Thursday. No, he has not thought of me in a sexual way. This knowledge is so painful to me. I have noticed a pattern with me when I hear something like this, something hurtful toward me. I act detatched, nonchalant, nothing wrong, take it in stride. "Big girls don't cry." Then, a few hours later, I am hit big time with incredible anguish. Anyway, as to your dilemna, the only one who knows what his behavior means is him. As awkward as it may be, perhaps you could talk to him about it? I know that sounds hard. I, also, know you may fear losing this sense of caring you feel from him by questioning it. But, for me, at least I don't have to obsess anymore about what my therapist REALLY thinks/feels for me. Unfortunately, I know. I just wanted him to give me some validation which is what he wants me to learn to give to myself. I might as well go to the moon this weekend. Gee, if I could do that, I wouldn't be in therapy! But, this knowledge is a double-edged sword. So, only ask when you feel safe. He sounds like he would be supportive no matter what he was telling you. You are in my mind and heart; I understand. Enjoy the Oscars! Widget


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