Posted by wishingstar on January 25, 2007, at 22:25:47
In reply to Re: what keeps you going? **suicide trigger, posted by caraher on January 25, 2007, at 18:25:12
Wow. I really appreciate how many of you responded to this with your reasons. It is interesting to me to see the different reasons everyone has, the different things that people can hold on to that work for them. Regardless of the hard times we all go through from time to time, every one of you are so strong and amazing to me.
I'm just going to respond to a few things people mentioned in particular... I read and am thinking about every single one though.
Gee, your mention of a funeral reminded me of something I hadnt though of in awhile. In Oct 2005 a 7-year-old boy I danced with died in a house fire. I went to the funeral and it was one of the most difficult things I'd ever seen. Funerals, but especailly this one, always seem to have a similar effect on me. They take away the suicidal impulse and make death too real, but its temporary. Maybe that's something I need to hang on to, odd as that sounds. The reality factor.
Muffled, I just wanted to say that your words about nature and what you get from it are really beautiful. I'm so glad you have that.
Mair, I appreciate what you said about suicide being the most important decision you can make, and making sure it's right. That really hit me strongly and it helps.
Toojane, I've been in the hospital too, only briefly, but I know what you mean. I didnt feel totally human there. I dont blame you for not wanting to go back. I dont think theres a such thing as a good or bad thing to hang on to though. If thats what works for you right now, then that's great. It doesnt matter what it is, as long as it keeps you safe.
This has helped me to think some about what my reason could be. Like I said before, I think there has to be something stopping me, but what is it? I'm not sure. I'm going to keep thinking about it, but I think I'm startng to figure it out. I'll post again when I've thought about it more.
Thank you for sharing everyone.
poster:wishingstar
thread:726366
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/726556.html