Posted by kerria on November 16, 2006, at 7:27:45
In reply to Re: my friends jumped me :(, posted by cassie17 on November 15, 2006, at 20:56:57
Meg,
Thank you for taking the time to write.
i have a lot of voices and ways of thinking- that's what causes so much misunderstanding.
i did take their advice- almost everything that was said- i talked about the difficult T relationship and was calling and already saw the new T- nobody listened- and that's not what they were talking about-- i don't think. i can't read it another time and be safe. BTW my next appt with the new T is tomorrow. What people said to me i did- but the thread was a lot of negatives about people agreeing with each other that i never took anyone's advice, etc- and it was evident that i did take their advice about the new T.
My thread was about my disability that i fought for since i found out that i would need treatment
that i couldn't afford.i was and am upset that i still can't afford- i hope the new T works out- and i hope that he takes disability. Right now i'm thankful for my h and his insurance or else i wouldn't be able to go to any T.
So i took all the advice everyone gave me that i could. The things that some said are always very good- but maybe i'll be there and be able to communicate to my parts whan i've been going to t twice a week for as long as thay have and have the support irl. It's so unfair to compare. i am doing the very best that i can - and more negatives - it was mostly- not all- negative and untrue about me not taking advice. i took and am taking almost All advice.
People weren't talking to me- they were criticizing the part of me that i hate also- it became a nightmare - the things that were said.
imagine feeling really bad about finding out you wouldn't be able to afford t when you though getting benefits were going to make a difference- hiring a lawyer- spending countless hours aat the disability places-meeting with their own disability dr who only talked to the work part- being denied three times because they didn't get the information- when you spent weeks going from dr to dr signing forms of release- it was a terrible process that took about seven years.
Then i found out how much i was going to get and how much the disability insurance covered for outpt therapy.i also found out that many Ts that treat DID won't take it- and i don't even know about this one. It was not a good time to have all the negatives- when i took their advice also and no one would hear or acknowledge? Why? i told everyone that i was calling and had appt with new T. Thankfully i'm still married so i can go to him. So that's advice there isn't any support inside to take, especially when he isn't half as angry as so many others that know me.
i'm also having so much conflict inside- and am not in a good place, Also have the pain-surgery coming that i'm afraid about and hopeful- so much is wrong. It was so hard to have so much criticism- i know all the things wrong and what to do about ot MORE than you can imagine- the difficult thing is that i can't fix everything yet.
everyone in the world can beat me up about it and i beat up myself everyday- but it isn't fixed. i'm not better and i hate myself more. Then i lost support at only place people know me. It's not easy starting with a new T- like a business meeting.
Take care,
kerria
poster:kerria
thread:701225
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/704198.html