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Re: my friends jumped me :(

Posted by kerria on November 15, 2006, at 17:26:42

In reply to Re: my friends jumped me :(, posted by cassie17 on November 14, 2006, at 13:43:16

Cassie/meg
Now that i explained how upsetting it is to see my own writing does it help you understand why i wasn't able to ackowledge old posts, -i don't remember at all anything about that.

Does it help now?

You agree that SEVERAL people were wrong and abusive to me. Why did no one address that? Is it ok with you?
Why is it ok that they abused me?
Would it be ok if they abused you?
i wouldn't go along with it or be a part of it against anyone.
i am still so hurt that it was ok with people and it was never address to me- in fact you are the only person that every told me that there were posts that were abusive.

i feel that some think i deserved it- it hurts a lot- because it's so hard to look at my own writing. i've been through so much rejection already.

i wish i could totally forget except i know that it can happen again when i do that. i'm in a bad place - no one should feel like this . having a very hard time. i wish someone could help me.
i feel so upset- i'm taking diazapam but i'm still so upset . There's so much internal criticism and external criticism in my life- it makes it so hard to do anything.

Why doesn't one person say they feel bad for me?
Not that i care so much about sympathy- i don't even know you or anyone irl- but the fact that two people came here to say how bad that they feel for 'everyone' - including the ones who were abusive to me- when they are going to be fine- they are all ok- there's no internal or outside mess- my life is a nightmare- literally because it has upset me so much and not one person cares about the lasting effect on me. i'm not ok- i'm not going to be ok.

tears,
kerria


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