Posted by Dinah on November 7, 2006, at 21:33:23
In reply to Unconditional acceptance, posted by annierose on November 7, 2006, at 20:06:44
Well, clearly I don't think so.
Have you been clear with her about what you need?
Sometimes it's hard for me to figure out what's wrong. After all, sometimes it's just fine for him to problem solve. And on the face of it, it's a caring response.
But other times it's just not what you need at that moment. And that should be ok. It ought to be ok to say "Look, I'm handling that part of it. Maybe not the way you would, but I'm handling it. What I need is someplace to put it all down for a minute and have someone recognize that it's heavy."
I find I might have to say it more than once, because they *do* want to fix things for us, or make everything better.
And Annierose? I am sorry you're carrying so many burdens right now. I understand how difficult it is to end the marriage to the father of your children. And a stressful work situation at the same time... I'm really impressed with how you've worked out a civil agreement with your husband, and dealt with bureaucracy at the same time. I wish I could do something tangible to help.
(((Annierose)))
poster:Dinah
thread:701426
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/701467.html