Posted by annierose on October 30, 2006, at 17:22:06
I have been under a great deal of stress lately with my job and my marriage. So for the past 3 months, these two issues have been the topic "du jour" during my sessions. And it's boring. And I'm tired of talking about them. Nothing is going to change until after Christmas - because that is my goal - maintain my sanity and status quo until January 2, 2007. Then my job stress will be just about over and I'll be able to deal with my marriage more effectively.
I cancelled my session with my therapist for tomorrow. I have nothing more to say to her. I'm a broken record that won't stop skipping. So I threw away the record player, canceled my session and felt relieved. One less session to sit in silence, or talk about everything but the elephant because I have beated the elephant to death.
Lo and behold, my T called me at work. I didn't ask her to call me back. Can't I come in on a different day? she wondered. (Keep in mind I do see her THREE times a week, I saw her today in fact) So what's the big deal? Why was I guilted into saying "yes" to Thursday? Guilt, guilt, guilty. I just have nothing more to say.
Our therapy conversations remind me of having dinner with your spouse after a long day at work. Both are eating dinner at the same table, both are present, but the lack of conversation is uncomfortable, and the words spoken are forced, unnatural.
I'll cancel an appointment next week. Maybe I'll be strong enough not to reschedule.
poster:annierose
thread:699112
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/699112.html