Posted by Daisym on November 2, 2006, at 22:33:51
In reply to Re: Stress, therapy and guilt » Dinah, posted by annierose on November 2, 2006, at 21:23:25
(((AnnieRose))))
I wish things were easier. I'm glad you can talk to your daughter's therapist about all of this as well as your own. I needed to do that too, trying to do it "right." But it came down to there was no right or wrong, I just had to love them as much as I could. And though mine are older, being honest that I was hurting was reassuring. My son's therapist said, "the biggest problem was that what was being said was not what was being done. And he could see that." So I've had to work very hard to make sure what he is picking up matchs what I am saying. I don't say, "I'm fine" if I'm not.
And I know you didn't ask me, but my therapist HAS asked, "how can I hep you?" more than a few times. I think he wants me to ask for what I need, but more than that, he really, really wants to help but doesn't want to presume he knows best. Often he has ideas but he wants to hear mine too. I'm even allowed to ask for things I know I can't have -- like hiding under his desk for the weekend. He never tells me no directly, he usually gently jokes back, saying, "you can't see much from under there" or something like that, but the exchange usually gives me the courage to ask for something that might actually help.
I hope you did think of something that would help you. I think you are being amazingly strong. Just be careful not to hide yourself away too much. I know how tempting that is.
poster:Daisym
thread:699112
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/699943.html