Posted by Daisym on October 31, 2006, at 10:19:06
In reply to Re: Stress, therapy and guilt » annierose, posted by bent on October 31, 2006, at 6:56:38
Oh Annie, I'm sorry you canceled. I think you need her right now. But I completely understand the broken record feeling and the long stretches of silence. I planned all weekend to ask my therapist for a break. Here is what I wrote to him:
"But lately it feels like you just keep confirming over and over again that therapy is a fantasy world and you will never be as available to me as I want you to be. I'm just a client, and that is appropriate. But it feels so hurtful right now. Taking a break might give me some space from the constant assault of the truth. ... I actually believe that I just am not equipped right now to deal with any more loss. I'd rather miss you because I'm not seeing you than miss you this way. "
I ended up not reading any of the letter to him yesterday but I did try to talk about it. Through lots of tears I finally told him that I want him to care about me and save me from the pain of my life. He told me he does care about me, but that he doesn't know what saving me means. He talked about helping me save myself and helping me grieve. And even though I left in tears, a few hours later I felt better.
This is my long winded way of saying that talking about not being able to talk and how disconnected you feel is probably more likely to help than a break will. I know how much stress you are under. I think you need her. But I know that need can be painful too. Not much help, am I?
I get it. I'm here. ((((AnnieRose)))
poster:Daisym
thread:699112
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/699280.html