Posted by Daisym on October 18, 2006, at 0:36:02
In reply to Meeting a nurturing/mothering need, posted by littleone on October 17, 2006, at 15:26:05
****I must admit that this all feels very bad and wrong to me. I had always thought that the idea was to identify that you have this need, then understand how you are trying to get it met in your life, then you have to learn ways to get by without it. But my T doesn't seem to agree with that.****
I'm not sure you can really feel nurtured until you give yourself permission to need it and get it. I have the same problem. I asked my therapist today if my parts and pieces would ever grow up. He said probably not all of them, because we all have little kid parts in us. He and I have been working on a character called "the super-needy, super-hero." It is his attempt to show me that I can be super needy (for him) and still accomplish lots of other things. I think my therapist would have made a fabulous mommy.
One of the things I did awhile ago was work on a friendship with someone who is quite a bit older than I am. She is older than my mom by about 10 years. Somehow she feels so safe, I even let her hug me. Is there anyone in your life that you can go to like that? I do have an aunt, but I didn't want the family ties to complicate things. I talk to my therapist about this friend so he can remind me that I have her and it is OK to call her and ask for support. It has taken FOREVER for me to be able to do that. But it is a close the the mom/nurturing as I've ever felt, outside of therapy.
What can you do to help your adult self accept that your younger part has these needs?
poster:Daisym
thread:695580
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/695720.html