Posted by madeline on October 17, 2006, at 19:36:44
In reply to Meeting a nurturing/mothering need, posted by littleone on October 17, 2006, at 15:26:05
Here are a few strategies that I tried that worked for me.
I went out and bought a therapy doll. Well, actually she is more of a stuffed bear, she's so cute with a little hat and an outfit with buckles and zippers. She's interactive! I took her to therapy with me. And slept with her for years. I still have her.
I bought toys and played - a lot. I colored and played "hello kitty", watched cartoons and ate candy and did all that stuff. I would do it in my house where I felt absolutely safe.
When I was able, I would visualize myself as a little child right in the middle of the abuse. I would then visualize myself as the adult I am now helping the little me. Comforting her, protecting her and telling her that she is beautiful and amazing. I developed a true sense of gratitude toward both the little me (for keeping me alive) and the adult me for continuing to live.
I don't know your particular situation, but for me reaching back to my parents was a no win scenario. They were simply unable or unwilling to give me what I wanted as a child OR as an adult. Based solely on my experience, I wouldn't try to reach back to your parents or another adult.
What I think I was describing above was my attempt at self-soothing and integrating the little me that needed nurturing into the big me that was capable of providing that nurture. It's almost as though what you need now as an adult, no one can provide for you, you have to give it to yourself.
So I say give yourself permission to be a kid again, nurture yourself like mad and enjoy it.
I still play, but my toys are now crafts and I love it.
Hope this helps.
Maddie
poster:madeline
thread:695580
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/695650.html