Posted by wishingstar on October 8, 2006, at 21:02:01
In reply to Laurie's take on all this, posted by wishingstar on October 6, 2006, at 18:24:07
Just a final "update" on this situation. After giving myself several days to calm down, I just called Anne and left her a voicemail. I said most of what I wanted to say and I feel like I was honest yet not mean or unfair (even though I had a lot of mean things I would have liked to say too).
I said something like this...
"Hi Anne, this is wishingstar. I know you werent expecting to hear from me this soon, but I was just calling to take back the suggestion I made at Panera the other day about having a final termination session. I've done a lot of thinking and I feel like your reaction to my suggestion told me a lot and made me realize that you just dont get it and theres just nothing else I can do about that. I dont mean for that to be a personal attack, but its true. I've realized that whatever your resistance is to having a final termination in a traditional way is about you. It's not about me. I've tried everything I can and it's just about you, so there's nothing else I can do. But that doesnt mean it's not still painful. So I guess I just wanted to take back that suggestion and I'm sorry it didnt work out better. I hope you're doing well. Thanks. Bye."
I think it came out good. I said what I wanted to say, but tried to do it in a way that wouldnt just raise all her defenses and make her say "pftt, this is all just her issues" any more than she already thinks. I want her to really consider that SHE has an issue here too. Because this really is about her now. I believe that.
Of course, as always, theres a tiny part of me that hopes she'll call back. I'm 99.9% sure she will not, and really, that's probably for the best anyway. It's hard to let go of that hope.
poster:wishingstar
thread:691777
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/693153.html