Posted by wishingstar on October 4, 2006, at 11:56:49
You wont believe this. I ran into Anne. I was at Panera (a restaurant), sitting by myself near the door, and who walks in? She saw me and came over and sat down for a minute. Asked how I was. I said I was sure she wasnt thrilled to see me, and she said she didnt feel that way. I told her briefly how things are going and that I'm still back and forth between being angry and upset about her. She didnt say much. Asked if I've started with the new T, etc etc.
Then I asked a question I shouldnt have asked. I think the thing making it the hardest to let go is the lack of closure with her, and I truly believe a last meeting would help. Something final. So I asked her... I asked if she'd be willing to see me once, in a few weeks from now after theres a little more distance for me, just for some closure. Shne said she'd think about it. She'll THINK about it? I guess before then I was living in this delusion that she understood that shed hurt me with the way she ended, all that.. but apparently she doesnt. Why did I ask that? I regret it so much. It was like a extra couples lashes with the whip. A little more pain on top of everything else. She just doesnt care. That's all there is to it. She truly is clueless #2.
Right now, I cant decide whether to laugh or to cry.
I'm going to call her back later today, I think.. and say that I take back my question. I'm going to say that I changed my mind because I realized by her reaction that I wont get what I want from it, which would just be her understanding that it had hurt me. It wont happen. It isnt worth this.
I know you're all sick of hearing about anne and probably wonder why I keep trying when she is so obviously on her own planet. I wish I knew.
poster:wishingstar
thread:691777
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/691777.html