Posted by TherapyGirl on September 28, 2006, at 8:01:42
In reply to I screwed up..., posted by TherapyGirl on September 27, 2006, at 12:14:11
Thanks so much to all of you for the support. I really, really wish I had posted here before I made the initial phone call accusing my T of lying to me.
She did call me back. And she said, "So have you had time to think this through and think of some other reasons you might have seen my car at the office?" I told her, "No, not on my own." Then she asked if I wanted her to explain it to me. I told her she didn't have to because I had called her voice mail and gotten the updated message. And then I told her that I just couldn't keep doing this to myself and to her. That I don't understand why 21 years with her doesn't trump the over-the-top responses to these situations. And I reminded her that usually more time just makes it WORSE, not better. Like by the middle of the night Tues. night, I was convinced that she had ONLY cancelled my appointment because she was sick of me. She said she knew. Then she told me what the goal regarding these situations is (that I would note seeing her car and ask her about it next week at my session, but that I would know that she wouldn't lie to me and relax about it until she explained). She said my first reaction to this stuff is probably always going to be, "I'm getting screwed over AGAIN." But that if I can learn to get through that without going over the top, then I can keep the drama to a minimum. (I have seriously paraphrased here -- she didn't use words like drama and over the top.)
She also said that she wasn't doing a regular day on Tuesday. She went into the office for a staff meeting (because she will miss next week) and then she had to meet a client for an emergency session. And I was thinking, "You mean you have another client with emergencies????" LOL Then she said she would have done the same for me if I had an emergency.
So I apologized. She repeated several times that she doesn't want me to beat myself up over this. I'm sure we will talk about it more next week. I just love talking about my neuroses.
God, it is exhausting being so high maintenance.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:689599
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/689848.html