Posted by muffled on August 30, 2006, at 22:39:09
In reply to Re: Ouch my head hurts » Daisym, posted by llrrrpp on August 30, 2006, at 21:04:30
well, I just felt like I'm not really passionate or emotional or? suited to do therapy. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. Sometimes I feel so small and vulnerable when I check in for my appt. Takes me at least 5 minutes (or a few weeks) to get over my therapy terror. Once I had an anxiety attack. Seriously. I never had an anxiety attack at the dentist's office, or the gyno? Why T?
***Yeah, my T says I have an anxiety attack practically everytime I go. But it passes.
Last week I came in and headed for the bathroom, and she popped out and said come on in when your done. Well, like the meathead I am I sat in the hallway around the corner where it was dark, and listened to a song that helps me feel safer on my mp3 player. She came looking for me. I felt SO DUMB!!! She just smiled.Would it be easier if I lied and pretended that everything was fine? made up a little song and dance every week? stored up the memorably amusing, trite things that happened for easy and non-emotional regurgitation? Am I only bringing up the dredges because I like to suffer?
***OH MAN ! You are on the same thot train as I.
Actually, as part of our song and dance at sessions, she usu asks 'how are you' (as I squirm in my chair not looking at her), I ALWAYS say 'fine'.
I am SO freakin ridiculous. If I was fine I wouldn't be there.
And I never have waterineye. Cuz that would be bad. I dunno why. I just know it would be very, very bad.
Sometimes my T will get a bit of waterineye, and it freaks me, cuz I don't know why its there. But mostly I won't even look at her.
At the beginning of session she often reads to me a short devotional type thing. THATS when I sneak a good look at her to see if she looks like SHE is ok.
I am SO RIDICULOUS.
I am a grown woman.
Yeah. So I feeling kinda wacked too.
I gonna send my T an e-mail that says I ain't gonna say nuttin more.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
She can just read, and I can peek out under my hat at her, and for a bit of time, feel kinda safer somehow? Dunno whats that about.
Verbose aren't I?
Your post just so got me.
Take care,
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:681522
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/681639.html