Posted by Jost on July 12, 2006, at 23:01:52
In reply to Re: am I expecting too much? » Jost, posted by wishingstar on July 12, 2006, at 16:40:51
Wishingstar, if I I had that magic potion-- I'd send it to you Express Priority Mail Overnight.
At one of my lowest points, I saw a T for about 9 months, with whom I went through a lot of what you're going through-- and it was so hard. I knew the relationship was destructive, but I felt like I really needed his affirmation.
It took a lot of bad times, but recognized he wasn't the right T for me. Not that he was a bad person, or even a bad T for certain people. Just that he wasn't comfortable with the kind of relationship I needed--and although I think he tried-- he couldn't provide that emotional place where I felt "held" as they say, and safe.
So I had to make that break, which was terribly hard-- and find a new T. It was awful, and I don't recommend it-- but it was necessary. And I was lucky. I did find the right person-- even though I had many struggles and hard times, even then.
But it did make all the difference, over time (and I'm still working on it).
There will be times of doubt, and missed connections, even with the right T--but sometimes there comes a moment when you know that a person can't give you what you need. Which is what counts.
I wanted to reassure you that there are Ts who have what you're looking for-- and that what you need matters-- a tremendous amount.
Maybe it won't be in exactly the shape or form that you might envision-- but the right T will find a way to give you enough so that together you can make that crucial difference.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:666165
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060703/msgs/666556.html