Posted by wishingstar on July 10, 2006, at 18:32:51
In reply to Re: being manipulative versus honest, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2006, at 9:42:50
Can I borrow your therapist for a few days? Just kidding... I know he isnt always perfect, especially recently. But he does sound like he's really hearing you on these issues.
Mine unfortunately doesnt really do that. You're right, she really doesnt respond well to requests for attention. The note about wanting to hurt myself was by far not the first mention I'd made of not feeling like she was hearing me or paying attention to me. We had discussed it many times before, and she always said I had her undivided attention for the hour. I tried to explain it better, but she never really got it. Even when I asked for specific things (like asking her to check in with my regarding SI/suicidal thoughts during a very bad period) she agreed to do so, but forgot after about 2 weeks and hasnt done so since. It really makes me feel like she isnt even aware that I feel bad half the time. Words (even ones that FEEL pretty direct to me) just dont get the message across. I wonder if its me or her? Is she choosing to not act in the way I want her to because I'm being manipulative, is she just not hearing me because shes not a good T for me, or am I not being as clear as I think I am? I dont know.
I know that she fears being too symptom-focused in therapy. She doesnt want to talk about the SI or the lack of eating or whatever I'm struggling with at the time, preferring to talk about the underlying things. I obviously think the underlying problems are the most important, but sometimes I just need her to say "wow, you're really feeling bad". But maybe I'm being too needy? I dont know. I grew up in a family where emotional needs just didnt exist, so it's hard to know if I'm correct in feeling this way or just acting out some dysfunctional patterns.
Sorry for rambling. I think it's somehow making me feel better though. Thank you.
poster:wishingstar
thread:665544
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060703/msgs/665826.html