Posted by Dinah on July 10, 2006, at 9:42:50
In reply to being manipulative versus honest, posted by wishingstar on July 9, 2006, at 20:05:59
Linehan talks a lot about this. She reminds therapists that feeling manipulated and being manipulated are two different things. She also reminds them that everyone tries to get what they want out of a relationship.
A lot of people (myself included at times) believe that the only way to get what they're looking for is to up the ante. And sometimes the environment validates that belief for them. It sounds as if your therapist doesn't respond very well to simple requests for attention or help?
My therapist has tried to teach me that I can just say I'm feeling upset or overwhelmed and he'll give me just as much attention as if I talk about the things I want to do physically. That how I feel matters as much as what I do. It's a hard lesson for me to learn.
Especially since I do genuinely get overwhelmed with thoughts of self harm when I'm really upset - and would even if there were no one there to hear them.
My therapist and I talked about this the other day, calmly and without perjorative adjectives being used. I wish all therapists could be as nonjudgemental.
poster:Dinah
thread:665544
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060703/msgs/665678.html