Posted by Tamar on June 30, 2006, at 20:31:10
In reply to Re: yesterday at the clinic **triggers** » llrrrpp, posted by ElaineM on June 30, 2006, at 15:31:01
Hi Elaine,
Thanks so much for your reply to my thread. I have been trying to find the right words to say to you.
First of all, I’m so very sorry that your appointment with the woman T didn’t go the way you hoped. I’d hoped too that she would be able to help you. I can understand that there are policies about reporting unethical therapists, but that should never come at the cost of a client’s safety. I think the rules need to be written better, to enable you to find a place of safety before people start talking about reporting your therapist.
I’m so sorry that your hopes about your appointment with the woman therapist were dashed. I’m shocked and stunned that she couldn’t find a way to accommodate your immediate need for safety. I think it is a dereliction of duty, no matter what the rules. If she couldn’t help you there and then, she should have contacted someone who could, and set up an appointment as soon as possible. Reporting unethical therapists should never be more important than client safety. Unfortunately, some therapists don’t really understand what’s at stake.
One other thing I’d say is that you’re not responsible for your therapist’s behaviour with other clients. It is not your responsibility to prevent him from misbehaving with other women. He is responsible for his actions. Sometimes people can feel a sense of relief at having reported an abuser AFTER the whole thing is over. It helps to know you’ve gone through a difficult process that will prevent other people suffering. But when you are still caught up in the relationship you can’t be expected to worry about other people. Your survival comes first. Whatever it takes.
What happened to your old (female) therapist? Are you still in touch with her? Could you go see her and tell her what is happening with your male therapist? Or are you afraid she won’t believe you? And have you managed to see your GP yet? If anyone can help, she ought to be able to.
I have heard that eating disorders can be very isolating. People don’t always understand the depth of self-loathing many people with eating disorders struggle with. I’m sorry you feel so alone. It’s hard to find people who can accept us as we are, especially when we’re hurting. But I have found that this community is a place of tremendous acceptance, so I hope you will be able to get used to the idea that we care very much about you. I know I’ve been really enjoying getting to know you. You’re so kind and caring and wise. It’s such a pleasure to have you here with us.
You are doing so well at handling all this. It really it an impossible situation, and you’re dealing with it incredibly well. I hope you’re giving yourself credit for that. You’ve had a lot of bad experiences and a lot of bad luck. You don’t deserve any of it. You deserve only good things.
(((((Elaine))))) I’m so sorry things have been hard. Thanks so much for sharing it here. I know it’s difficult.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:662694
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060623/msgs/663037.html