Posted by ElaineM on June 30, 2006, at 9:18:50
In reply to Re: yesterday at the clinic **triggers** » ElaineM, posted by fallsfall on June 29, 2006, at 20:41:38
Falls: I did want another T. I still do. I know this will probably sound so annoying but it is more complicated then I've been able to post. Though I do know that how it is now is not regular therapy. It has been awhile since it has felt sort of like it was with my old T.
I'm too tired to do anything else right now. Plus, another thing I realized, while I was beginning the assessment interview, was that because I've been in ED inpatient so often, my treatment history is all linked together. When you go in, they know who's sending you, and then when you leave they know who you're going to. It'd be pretty easy to track me from facility to therapist, if they don't need my permission to contact these places. If I started again, I think I'd have to hide my entire history - especially the ED. Could any good really come from someone new then? I may have been jumping the gun with all of this. I'm very trapped.
I'm sorry that I can't be bolder with this. I would always help others, and look out for others - I know I'm being terribly selfish with this. I feel horrible about it. I don't want to jeopardise another person, but I'm just so weak. I don't have enough in me to help myself right now, nevermind someone else. Oh god, that's so horrible to say. I'm so gross.
I am going to try and be strong today with one thing though. I'm on my way to a session now, and I'm going to say I'm NOT going on the day-trip together. I'm kinda scared about it, but I have to do it - I couldn't possibly go. (I don't even have time to read through everyone's responses before leaving, so I'm going with your's in my head. I'll read the rest when I get back to reassure me that I said the right thing)
Thanks for saying you care, EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:662694
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060623/msgs/662886.html