Posted by CatieCat on June 21, 2006, at 22:17:20
In reply to Here is my take » CatieCat, posted by orchid on June 21, 2006, at 21:38:41
Original Post:
> > "If he did...I think I would feel devastated, it would probably make me feel suicidal."and
> > "I really do think I'll threaten suicide if he tries to terminate me."
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>
> Some people threaten death or suicide just to get their way with world. Oh if you don't do this, I will commit suicide, of course with clearly no intention of doing so ever. THAT is what is morally wrong, if you ask me, and that is just plain and blatant manipulation.But isn't "I really do think I'll treaten suicide if he tries to terminate me" manipulative? Even though I know and understand where the feelings are coming from, why threaten him? Feel that way, ok, we'll help you deal with it. Yes it will be hard, and yes it will hurt like heck, but they are honest feelings.
> On the ohter hand, there are somethings which *really* makes a person extremely anxious and evokes extreme pain in them, that they don't think they can live through it. Losing a therapist many times evokes intense suicidal feelings - you are going to loose the one person who cared about you the most in the world - that is hard for anyone to take, and people feel usually suicidal with abrupt terminations. And her saying that she might threaten her T, comes from the fact that she anticipates the intense pain that she will be in if her T terminates her over what she said to him. And that is really very understandable, especially so, if you have ever been through with a T and termination. It is not a ploy to manipulate the T, but it is a way of letting out the intense pain that she feels or anticipates to feel. And I think she is only trying to make it clear how much he means to her.Again, I completely understand that. (That is why from the beginning I made it clear that I didn't have a problem with her saying that she would feel devastated and probably suicidal.) And again, yes I too would feel suicidal if my T terminated me. But, would I threaten *her with that if she were to terminate me? NO! Yes I would feel it. I would even tell her that. God forbid I might even be seriously tempted to act on it, but to threaten her with it just to keep me? That's what I am having a problem with. Why hang it over her head? Why feel like I am forcing her to stay with my just so that I don't do anything? I think I'd feel more guilt for that.
I really should have dropped this. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but I guess it's something I really feel strongly about.
Catie
poster:CatieCat
thread:659383
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/659970.html