Posted by orchid on June 21, 2006, at 21:38:41
In reply to It's the word *threaten*, posted by CatieCat on June 21, 2006, at 21:16:43
> I've given it more thought, and it is the word 'threaten' that I have a problem with. (And I admit, maybe it is just my problem.)
>
> Don't get me wrong, I don't want to see anyone take their own life (or hurt themself at all for that matter!). But to me, there is a big difference between saying, "I feel __________" or "I feel like _______ ________" and making a blanket threat (or a threat to threat).
>
> I'm having a hard time articulating this.
>
> Here are two comments from this original post:
>
> "If he did...I think I would feel devastated, it would probably make me feel suicidal."
>
> Now, I don't have a problem with this. It's an honest expression of a feeling as a result of a potential undesired action. I can totally empathize with that. I've already admitted that I've felt that way plenty of times before and can say that at this point in time, if my therapist wanted to terminate with me now, I would feel the same way.
>
> and
>
> "I really do think I'll threaten suicide if he tries to terminate me."
>
> Doesn't anyone else see the difference?? Even rewriting this quote makes me want to go back to my original comment.
>
> CatieHi Catie,
I think there might be a difference in the intention behind the *threaten* word that probably would make all the difference.
Some people threaten death or suicide just to get their way with world. Oh if you don't do this, I will commit suicide, of course with clearly no intention of doing so ever. THAT is what is morally wrong, if you ask me, and that is just plain and blatant manipulation.
On the ohter hand, there are somethings which *really* makes a person extremely anxious and evokes extreme pain in them, that they don't think they can live through it. Losing a therapist many times evokes intense suicidal feelings - you are going to loose the one person who cared about you the most in the world - that is hard for anyone to take, and people feel usually suicidal with abrupt terminations. And her saying that she might threaten her T, comes from the fact that she anticipates the intense pain that she will be in if her T terminates her over what she said to him. And that is really very understandable, especially so, if you have ever been through with a T and termination. It is not a ploy to manipulate the T, but it is a way of letting out the intense pain that she feels or anticipates to feel. And I think she is only trying to make it clear how much he means to her.
I do understand your feelings about suicide, I have lost couple of friends to suicide too, and they are extremely hard to take. But I think Karolina was only expressing her pain, and trying any desperate attempt to save the relationships (even if that involves a little threatening), so that she (god forbit not) isn't forced to hurt herself by losing him. It is a desperate attempt to save herself, and not to hurt the T.
poster:orchid
thread:659383
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/659950.html