Posted by Racer on March 7, 2006, at 21:30:13
In reply to Re: When there's no place to focus upset » Racer, posted by fallsfall on March 7, 2006, at 20:25:51
One of my mother's favorite lines was always, "To understand all is to forgive all." Any time I was upset -- let alone angry -- she'd trot that out, and either tell me what the other person must have been feeling, or ask me to tell her what I thought it might have been. It's only in the past couple of years that I've realized that I really don't know how to validate my own anger or hurt. (That's something I realize I didn't include above. It's not just anger, it's also hurt feelings.)
For many years, in therapy way back when, I would try so hard to be cool, and reasonable. (And the therapist I saw then never called me on it. Huh.) It's only now that I'm trying to learn to feel it, accept it, and express it.
And Daisy? You know you're right, about say it and don't try to explain it? Because I do. I still have my aunt's voice in my head, telling me I am not allowed to be upset if I can't explain why. I can't be hurt if I can't explain why something would cause damage. I can't be angry, because I can't explain why.
Gotta get an InternalVoiceEctomy...
poster:Racer
thread:617049
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/617273.html