Posted by alexandra_k on February 5, 2006, at 19:27:37
In reply to Re: ((((((alexandra K)))))))))))))) » Damos, posted by alexandra_k on February 5, 2006, at 18:54:18
because it doesn't fit... it doesn't fit. i don't see how it is supposed to fit together...
university
drugs
stuff... stuff like that.
i mean sure i get a lot of people use and study... but they don't do so well typically...
i used to kind of work for these people. me and my mates... do cooks for them and run drug houses and stuff... not so involved with that so more... one of my mates was asked to take the rap for two sheets of LSD and he did a runner... he would have had a couple year sentance... or more... class A I think... and people coming to 'reposess' stuff... ticks... this stuff... how is it supposed to fit..?borderline stuff... not in with the gangs... just fringes... but still. how is it supposed to fit? i do'nt want it... but they looked out for me they did. and if i don't want it then why do i keep on keeping on with it?
even there even my role there... how can i do it? i do'tn know.... i don't know why they put up with me... most of the girls hanging out are pro's and yet they wouldn't have it if anyone treated me like that... i don't mind most of the girls but some are bitchy cause they see me get stuff for free... and why? history? i don't know. i don't know. i don't understand. i don't know why they are good to me. but htey are. they like me.
one of them... i got him into doing a course at tech to be a drug and alchohol councellor. i don't know whether that is going to work out for him. but he likes it. i've helped him a lot... he doesn't write so good... but he is learning. he comes out with some great stuff at times... very taken with behaviourism and reinforcing different outcomes :-)
they are my mates... but... criminal conviction and it is all over rover :-(
and drink... thats what is strange about the people here. because they aren't so hardcore. no way. no f*cking way. but they think they are pretty hardcore. but it is different. i got the 'randoms' lecture from them (though wary... lots of people wanting to be nz citizens... some peoples out to hook up and get that... i do know this...) but with the drinking i just think WHY! if people wanna get high why are they wasting their time with that crap? i don't know. p house. trouble now. stolen goods... i'm keeping out of it... but friend. cars and stuff... lotsa money of drugs... cutting them... cutting them bit too much and wrong people... tricky situation. trying not to get involved... it is hard. it is hard for me.
moving moving moving along
it will be okay
right?who am i kidding... if this had come out... nobody would have worked with me. muffled was onto something... noboyd wants to work with addicts. but i'm not an addict i don't know what i am i don't know who i am i not doing so well :-( have to hold together :-( have to have to must it will get better - right?
time to go have a smoke. back later. probhably won't post. maybe thats why i'm posting less. try not to post while hammered. come out with all sorts of sh*t... not hammered now... just hungover... takes a while to get out of the system...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:605035
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060131/msgs/606694.html