Posted by muffled on February 4, 2006, at 18:31:08
In reply to Re: ((((((alexandra K)))))))))))))), posted by alexandra_k on February 4, 2006, at 5:25:12
> thanks for that.
((((((((((((((((alex))))))))))))))
>
> have been a little fragile lately. have been reading... but been finding it hard to post. not sure why. just having trouble :-( and feeling unconnected because i'm not posting more. i shall make a concentrated effort tomorrow and hopefully i'll manage to break through that wall...
****I always feel bad when I can't write.
>
> sigh.
>
> have been feeling really rather fragmented. have started freaking a little about just how much i do use. because... i don't want it to be part of my life once i move. because... i will be losing all my current contacts / connections. a part of me... doesn't want to move. is not happy about this situation. that part has been really rather vocal around all this.
***its hard to be in conflict :-(
>
> alchohol. sigh. don't bother with it mostly. just want to feel more high and... less sick. we have a binge drinking culture over here. it is considered to be a social problem. but we have a binge drinking culture. i've been trying to be more social... seems to involve drinking games. going into town (not really my scene typically). i was trying to be social :-( but really... that is not me either.**** You drink. Or other stuff too?
Binging is the worst. Really used to wreck me. I would be so disoriented for days afterwards.
>
> randoms. well... just the one. :-( not happy of myself. not proud. might bite me yet :-(
***hope not
>
> and the anger / rage at community mental health is flaring up too. i guess cause i'm fragile.
***just proly getting generally overwhelmed I suppose....
>
> this shall pass. i don't want to be a binge drinker. this shall pass. please god.
***It can pass. Remember all the bad stuff, the scarey stuff BEFORE you drink. Link the bad stuff together with the thot of drinking.
Alex...I dunno what to say 'cept we care bout you here. You can talk or not talk. And you can talk all about yourself and not post to anyone else and thats ok too. Cuz sometimes we just don't have it in ourselves to help others, we too busy just trying to survive ourselves. But that shouldn't stop a person from posting if it helps them.
Take care Alex. You OK.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:605035
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060131/msgs/606375.html