Posted by daisym on January 9, 2006, at 19:39:07
My session today:
T - "why is it so hard to have these feelings for me?"
Me - "because I feel needy and jealous and a bunch of other things that I don't typically feel and I sure as h*ll don't say out loud!"
T - "You sound angry. No wonder you don't want these feelings. What is so scary about your anger?"
Me - "Anger has the potential to turn a person into a monster. And I'm terrified of the intensity of it. Because it feels just as intense as my caring feelings for you. I'm afraid that if I can love you, maybe I can hate you too."
T - "That seems like an important thing to find out. To learn that, yes, you can hate someone temporarily and but then the love will come back. Anger is just a part of you, it won't become all of you. You aren't your dad."
So -- he wants to see some of my writings where I'm angry -- especially at him. And I want to show him a few pages, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. (Or do I? Is this part of the anger?) How can I do this and still guarantee that he won't change how he is with me? Or worse, tell me he doesn't want to work with me anymore?
I'm scared and confused tonight.
poster:daisym
thread:597312
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/597312.html