Posted by annierose on January 10, 2006, at 8:58:12
In reply to Re: Talking about anger » daisym, posted by fairywings on January 10, 2006, at 8:20:52
Hi Daisy -
I haven't been around much because I've been feeling so vulnerable around this exact issue as well. I'll share my experience with anger in hopes it will give you confidence to share yours with your T as well.
Last Friday I told my T that when I left her office on Thursday, I hated her. I hated her questions, her responses, etc. Quietly she replied, "I knew you left upset, I'm glad you shared these feelings with me. It's important not to brush those feelings under the carpet." I quickly replied, "See, that pisses me off too. That kind of response. I left angry on Thursday, and here it is 24 hours later, I'm sharing that, and you're telling me not to brush it under the carpet. I am sharing." Then she told me that no matter what she says or how she replies I want to see her as critical and disapproving, even though nothing could be further from the truth. That I expect people to react that way. When in fact, she was trying to be encouraging.
We talked and talked and I do see what she is saying. It feels right. I'm already preparing a defense before someone talks to me.
We talked a lot about what that feels like.
I was shocked that the word "hate" came out of my mouth as I spoke. I hadn't planned to say that, or even thought it consciously. She wasn't mad at me or even surprised. She still likes me. It was okay. I know I have lots of work ahead in this area. Anger is important work.
Keep sharing. Your T is awesome and he will guide you through. He will hold your hand and gently guide you along.
Annie
poster:annierose
thread:597312
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/597511.html