Posted by Susan47 on November 9, 2005, at 23:08:44
In reply to Re: My feelings, posted by happyflower on November 6, 2005, at 17:56:10
I would love to hear that you've told your therapist your secret feelings about him. They're secret to him, but not really to us, right? I mean, we know you would love to have him feel the same way about you that you do him. I told my own therapist exactly how I felt, and he responded in a negative, frightened way. Which was extremely good for me. It made me angry, to know that he was using me for his ego gratification, but at least I always knew from that point on, where I stood. I didn't let it stop me, either, from expressing the scope of my emotions. He was a reluctant listener, because I made him listen over the answering machine. I don't think, after the initial confession, that I ever spoke to him personally about it again other than to say that he meant more to me than many other people I've known, even though I knew him for a short time only, because of the intimate nature of the therapy relationship. He fully agreed that this was a common phenomenon. I now think that my early self-disclosure as to the nature of my feelings for him, (I phoned once and told him I had a crush on him. He agreed that we all do this) was a smart thing to do. However, it made me angry to realize that in many ways, I was a plaything to this man. A woman who could and would feed his ego.
Just dont' let yourself be used, Happyflower. If I were you I would try to find the courage to disclose my feelings, and hopefully before it is no longer safe to do so. I'm wondering if perhaps the more time that goes by before a client discloses the nature of her sexual and emotional attraction to a therapist, the more opportunity there is for a mutual intimacy to develop which is unhealthy for both parties. ???
poster:Susan47
thread:575457
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/577321.html