Posted by allisonross on October 31, 2005, at 13:21:41
In reply to I can't Feel Sorry though, posted by Susan47 on October 30, 2005, at 13:17:32
> Dear Susan:
I can't feel sorry for him, because if I saw him again I would just want to melt in his arms again,
I know
which his arms don't realy want me anyway, they have their effing pick of any innocent woman who walks in seeking his help. Ally what are they getting?
Only THEY know the answer to that question.
What I got, or better? I remember once opening the door with him behind me, a young woman sitting on the couch waiting for him in the outer office (which is a grim little affair, I can tell you... no need to make any efforts when it's all laid at your feet, after all ... I don't know, I just don't know why I feel so cynical about him now,
you feel cynical, because you have been abused by him.
but you know it all fits so perfectly, and my dreams have been wavering between telling me this stuff and keeping it secret from me ...)
> this woman looked at me at first surprised, she was Waiting for that door to Open, I can tell you that ... then she looked upset, like I might be a threat to her relationship with him, then she covered it up when he greeted her. I felt supremely sorry for her, and sorry for myself too. Because I knew what we were both going through, I knew he was no different with her than he was with me. There's no reason I would have been special.You ARE special, but not to him (an abuser, user, manipulator)
But being in therapy, we deny that, because we have such a huge need to be special, as we never were before to any man, and it's so easy to fall into his trap,
yes it is
which he keeps constantly baited, unable to stop himself,
He could/CAN stop himself; he just chooses NOT to; I mean after all, he apparently isn't afraid of losing his license.
it could be subconscious, some of it at least. Ally I've seen this man in public by himself, and he has that assurance that only really attractive men have, he's able to make himself either disappear or be visually available.
> He didn't get how important this relationship was, or something, he didn't get how dangerous it was to play with a mind as broken and hurt as mine.He should lose his license.
> Part of me hates him, part loves him still.
I am there.
> I'm in a trap partly of my own flawed design, he's closed his eyes and ears to any truth from me, and how many others has he hurt over the years, how many still to come?
> Or has he stopped, has he a conscious or is he sociopath?Usually unethical therapists, like abusers, rarely change unless confronted, big time.
It's so true that you just can't tell. You don't know. Maybe he isn't sick, maybe he has a conscience and he honestly didn't know what he was doing.
he knew. For crying out loud. He was TRAINED to know people's thoughts, minds, vuleranablities. No one worse than a professional who exploits.
Maybe eventually he brings people to good conclusions and I was the one exception in a career of successes.
If he did it to you, he's still doing it.
>
>
poster:allisonross
thread:569236
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/573803.html