Posted by Susan47 on November 2, 2005, at 19:56:02
In reply to Re: Here. » Susan47, posted by allisonross on November 2, 2005, at 6:10:16
Ally, you said this: "Then, tell me what do you think he is doing or saying that IS inappropriate?" and my reply simply has to be that there are devices people use in communication. I could say to you that he said to me, "Is it news to you that some couples stay together for the sake of the children?" and you would say, well the meaning in that is obvious. He's just asking a simple question and it's a very innocent question and it just means nothing but what was spoken. Take this at face value. And I would reply, well, Ally, it's not that simple. For example, before he asked this question he'd spent a few sessions giving me long, deep looks, looks that sometimes were guarded but most often, more than concerned. They were looks of empathy, sympathy and compassion. They were caring looks. Emotive. Sometimes concerned, and ready to be disappointed, and looks that said I was confusing, sometimes I was funny, I liked that ... anyway, timing is everything Ally. Timing is the beat of a dove's wing, and the difference between a hummingbird in your ear, or a grenade launched into the center of your being. Sometimes he threw grenades, sometimes I threw them. Mostly I think I threw them. And I was blasting away at his rock face bit by bit, Ally.
And he just responded, sometimes a fairywing, sometimes a red rubber ball bounced over to me. Sometimes I caught the ball and bounced it back, sometimes I tossed; sometimes he tossed. A few times the ball bounced and rolled rudely between us, never really being picked up by anyone, just kind of rolled back and forth between our feet ...
What a relationship.
What a thing, timing is. You know? There's so much meaning in it. You can change the entire feel of a tune, you can play with the melody so much, in the timing of the piece.
I out-played everybody, including myself. I put everybody into oblivion.
poster:Susan47
thread:569236
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/574675.html