Posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2005, at 23:50:52
In reply to Re: Difficult Times » cricket, posted by fairywings on September 8, 2005, at 22:34:27
> Hi Cricket,
>
> Just a thought, why don't you ask him next time why he crosses his arms across his chest and turns away from you. Tell him you find it defensive, and ask him if he could try not to do it, at least for one session. See how he reacts. Might be interesting to see what he has to say.I agree that you could learn a lot from bringing this behavior to his attention. You might want to frame it as your *experience* of him, as in...when you do that (insert behavior here), it feels like or it seems like you are angry with me or shutting me out or however you experienced it. This way, he can't really say "Well I'm not mad!" or something similar without also addressing the fact that this is how he appears to you. At least he should address both aspects: what is going on with him and what it feels like to you.
Of course this would be a scary thing to do. But also assertive and an authentic expression of how you experience him.
I hope things get better.
gg
>
> fw
poster:gardenergirl
thread:551911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050901/msgs/552541.html