Posted by cricket on August 22, 2005, at 12:32:33
In reply to Need and attachment, posted by Dinah on August 21, 2005, at 10:11:26
Hi Dinah,
I certainly understand a therapist's not being able to understand :-(
Can you sense the age that you feel like when you need him and feel comfortable with that need? Is it pre-school age or older?
Was that a time of attachment - back to attachment again :-( - that was comfortable with your mother? I know you said once that you couldn't wait to go to school to get away from her. Was that when it began to fall apart? You were separate and had your own ideas and she didn't like that very much.
I'm not sure where I'm going here, and it is probably irrelevant, but I know that the time when I feel most comfortable and secure with my therapist is at the very beginning of therapy when he is finding his papers, getting his tea, rooting through his bag, checking his cellphone, basically knowing that I'm there but ignoring me.
It seems like a strange thing to like and I've even gone so far as to want to ask him, "Could I just sit here today and you can work on your laptop or whatever, but not pay any attention to me?"
But I think I feel most comfortable and secure because it approximates my very early, pre-verbal relationship with my grandmother. She would go about her daily work, I don't think she paid much attention to me, but I could just watch her and that I think was comforting.
So could it be something like that with you and your therapist? The time when you just need him/her, before you realize he/she is really different and doesn't quite suit you at all?
poster:cricket
thread:544714
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/545157.html