Posted by dancinbillie on June 27, 2005, at 18:32:01
In reply to Re: How do I tell my therapist . . . » dancinbillie, posted by Jazzed on June 26, 2005, at 23:06:15
> HI and welcome to babble,
>
> I would definitely NOT tell her about your internet searches and the background check. She might see the background check as almost stalking. But I think we all want to know about our T's, that's normal.
>
> As far as falling in love and having sexual feelings, that's normal too. I'm sure you'll hear that ppl on the boards are reading the book In Session, which is really good and explains a lot of this stuff, and why we experience it. Therapy is one of the most intimate relationships you'll ever have, sort of like a love affair. How long have you been going to your T? Maybe tell her you're having some confusing feelings about her, feelings you don't understand, and see what happens, and how she deals with it. You'll know if she can deal with it or not.
>
> Good luck,
> Jazzy
Hi Jazzy, thanks for your warm welcome and wise words =)I'm grateful for your response. I too thought my T might see the background check, particularly, as a "stalking" behavior. It worried me when I ordered the report and has continued to worry me - like, what in the world am I thinking about in doing this? What is wrong with me? If someone ran a report like that on me, it would frighten and anger me.
I've been wondering if I was somehow trying to balance the power in the relationship - she knows all kinds of stuff about me, so I try to even it up by knowing stuff about her. It's a little different, though - I know that she knows stuff about me, I've voluntarily shared the information with her - but she doesn't know I know stuff about her. Hmmmm . . . what's THAT about?
I am going to get the In Session book and read it. Notwithstanding the kind replies to my post that I have received, I still have trouble regarding my sexual feelings and fantasies about her as "normal." I don't know if my T has encountered this before or what her feelings would be - and it's certain that I won't find out if I don't bring it up, perhaps via the approach you suggested. However, I'm not sure if I can tell if she will be able to deal with it productively or not . . . I'm not very good at things like that. And I'm really terrified that she will terminate the treatment or pawn me off on another therapist.
As to your question, I've been seeing my T for about four months - 16 weekly visits so far. She is aware that I have trust and safety issues and has said to me that she believes I will share more when I feel safe enough to do so. I'm kind of thinking that my feeling safe be darned, I should put this on the table sooner rather than later, because it feels like a heavy-duty issue that bears scrutiny.
Thanks again, Jazzy =)
poster:dancinbillie
thread:519490
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/520086.html