Posted by Dinah on June 27, 2005, at 8:11:42
In reply to How do I tell my therapist . . ., posted by dancinbillie on June 26, 2005, at 20:03:58
I agree with everyone that your feelings are not unusual. And also that it's pretty common to google your therapist. Most therapists who have any familiarity with the internet won't be distressed by that.
However, therapists vary widely in their ability to hear and tolerate these things. My therapist knows that I drove by his home exactly once (his address is on his bills) to orient myself as to where his house was in relation to mine (they're close). Actually, I didn't drive by the house, just the corner. :) He was ok with it. But someone else's therapist was really freaked out by that. And someone's therapist was freaked out by googling.
It might be useful to stick a toe in the water by talking about the people on the board doing things like that, or feeling sexual feelings toward their therapist. I've done that with my therapist, quite accidentally. I bring actual things from the board to him, and he responds as if he thought I was talking about me.
I only say that because I found to my shock and surprise that not all therapists were well trained in this area. And that some had mistaken ideas about the proper handling of sexual feelings from clients. It's sad, and it's an indictment of the training they receive, but it is sometimes true.
In fact, I purchased this video with the intent of donating it to my local training university, but haven't got around to it yet.
http://www.apa.org/videos/4310570.html
I'm not at all saying you shouldn't be honest with her. Therapy is based on honesty. But my sad experience with mental health experience is that it's best to be cautious, if keeping this relationship is overwhelmingly important to you (as it would be to me).
But the good news is that on this board at least, therapists who don't respond appropriately are very rare.
poster:Dinah
thread:519490
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/519789.html