Posted by Aphrodite on June 20, 2005, at 17:49:33
In reply to Not Wanting to See T again., posted by cricket on June 20, 2005, at 12:24:09
I'm not sure of your particulars, but I can relate. I will be having a hard time and I will comfort myself by telling myself that therapy is just in 2 or 3 days or whatever. However, when it nears that time, I don't want to go and often haven't. And when I do, I do so out of responsibility and obligation.
My T thinks that I have an inner part of my self-care system that throws that dread over me to stop me from "telling". It's an internal mechanism I use to protect myself from very old hurt and pain. Coming to therapy and sharing the secrets is internally seen as making myself vulnerable. He says I just have to keep pushing through and this new way of being, where and I can tell and trust, will replace the silencing.
I don't know if this will ring true with you, but I thought I would share just in case. In any event, I just want you to know that after a year and a half of twice a week therapy, I still long for and dread my appointments.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:515984
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/516160.html