Posted by cricket on June 20, 2005, at 12:24:09
I go through this almost all the time. I think I am doing okay with my therapist. I can even think of a few things I like about him (as I've posted on this past week).
But then I get close to my weekly appointment and this terrible dread sets in. I don't want to see him. I don't want to talk to him. I practically have to sit on my hands all day so I don't call and cancel.
I have never ever (not in 3 years) looked forward to an appointment.
I know it has something to do with shame. At least that's the feeling I get. I feel like so much less than he is that I can barely stand to think of myself in his presence.
Usually, when I manage to get there and sit in his office, not the waiting room, I hate the waiting room, I am okay and don't feel so repulsive. Not always though and the sessions where I can't squelch the shame are the worst.
Has anyone else ever felt this dread? How did it ever get better, and how many years did it take?
poster:cricket
thread:515984
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/515984.html