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the ''Courage to Heal'' quote » Daisym

Posted by badhaircut on June 9, 2005, at 18:21:50

In reply to Re: ''Courage to Heal''   » badhaircut, posted by Daisym on June 8, 2005, at 21:20:49

> I never even saw the part about "if you think you have, etc."

It may depend on what edition you read. This is one quote that's actually worse in context. In the 1988 and 1992 editions of "Courage to Heal," the paragraph reads, in full:

<quote>
Often the knowledge that you were abused starts with a tiny feeling, an intuition. It's important to trust that inner voice and work from there. Assume your feelings are valid. So far, NO ONE we've talked to thought she might have been abused, and then later discovered that she hadn't been. The progression ALWAYS goes the other way, from suspicion to confirmation. If you think you were abused and your life shows the symptoms, then YOU WERE. (page 22)
<unquote>

The words are Bass & Davis's, but I capitalized some for comparison with the last half of the same paragraph in the 1994 edition:

<quote>
...IT IS RARE that someone thinks she might have been abused, and then discovers she wasn't. The progression USUALLY goes the other way, from suspicion to confirmation. If you GENUINELY think you were abused and your life shows the symptoms, there's A STRONG LIKELIHOOD that you were. If you're not sure, keep an open mind. Be patient with yourself. Over time, you'll become more clear. (page 26)
<unquote>

In a long addendum to the 1994 edition, they say, "False allegations have been made. Such transgressions need to be confronted."

But how they could be "confronted" using any of the assumptions or techniques in these books, Bass/Davis don't say.

For me the basic problem in these books is not the "recovered memory" question (although I have an opinion on that). For me it is Bass/Davis's inhumane attitude toward their clients. In looking back over the books today, I find them among the most intolerant and bullying self-help books I have ever read, with their uncompromisable demands dressed in words about "honoring yourself" and "healing." Talk about a double bind!

It seems that almost any assertion they make can be made just as plausibly if not moreso – and more humanely – by replacing the particular Bass/Davis keyword with its opposite. Where they say, for example...

"One of the by-products of forgetting is a feeling of being divided into more than one person." (1994, p 48)

...I'd rather see this:

"One of the by-products of being a conscious human is a feeling of being divided into more than one person."

And so on.

-bhc


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