Posted by shrinking violet on May 20, 2005, at 19:45:08
In reply to Re: maybe it was because i told her...., posted by pegasus on May 20, 2005, at 16:57:07
>> "I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Although I'm glad to hear you're trying for the residential treatment facility. I hope it ends up being really helpful for you."
---Thank you pegasus, that's very sweet of you. I hope it works out in whatever way it's supposed to.
>>" What strikes me about what you write about your T is that you're assuming a lot of blame for acts that seem perfectly reasonable to me. I think it's sweet that you made that CD for your ex-T, and absolutely normal that you told her you love her. That happens all the time in therapy! We've had threads about it here, and lots of people said they'd told their therapists the same thing. It's natural and understandable to feel that way about someone who makes you feel safe, and is trying to help you."--Thank you. But maybe *she* didn't think so? She does mostly short-term therapy with students....The way I understood it is that she doesn't see the same client for long-term work very often. So maybe my saying that was odd to her. How big of a jump is it from saying you deeply care about someone, to loving them? She's said and shown the former to me....But maybe the latter, for her, is reserved for more personal relationships? I don't know....I can only guess, which is the hardest part right now. And when I had the chance to ask her, I was too afraid to.
>> "I guess the idea is that if you still have contact with your ex-T then you won't seek current therapy, because you'll still be more comfortable in that old relationship."--I know, that does make some sense. I did call her the other night, left a message, and she did call me back. I know I can write to her. I know I can probably pop up and visit her once in a great while. I know she's there. I know she'll help me transition to a new T if I wanted her to (if that offer still stands). I know/hope she's involved in a "behind the scenes" sort of way right now. Maybe it's a "tough love" sort of thing? I hope so. Still, without knowing for sure, I blame myself. Because I know I made her work harder than I should have, I know that working with me hasn't been "lightweight" for her....And I just wish I could go back and fix all of that. And our relationship was very complex, and I feel like we still have a lot of things to discuss and figure out.
>> "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you lots lately, and have been following your situation. I think it sounds like you've really tried hard in therapy, and that it's just especially difficult for you, so you often don't acccomplish what you'd like to or think you should. And that you really give yourself a hard time about that, when I'm sure it's not simply flaws in yourself that cause these difficulties - you're obviously struggling mightily. Your story and situation really move me, and I sincerely wish you the very best in your new treatment."
--That's very sweet of you, thank you. :-)Take care,
sv
poster:shrinking violet
thread:500434
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/500552.html