Posted by LadyBug on May 19, 2005, at 23:49:43
In reply to Re: Relationship with T/Bad Session (very long), posted by sleepygirl on May 19, 2005, at 23:10:40
Your post reminds me of myself about 3 years ago. I was suffering from a deep depression. I thought about suicide all the time. I knew I needed to find a job, though my self esteem was in the toilet. Our finances were a disaster. I didn't have what it took to pound the pavement to land a job. Things were hard for me and my therapist. She had me calling her every night, just to check in and make sure I was ok. I became too much for her and she got angry with me and changed all my boundaries/rules in a matter of the last remaining 20 min. of our hour together.
I left my appointment crying vowing never to return. She hurt me deeper than I'd ever been hurt. But I had to face the hard stuff about myself and try to put myself back together. It was hard as hell, but I did it. I went back to my T. and we managed to recover from our "Black Day". That was a ton of work. It took us a few years.
I looked everyday for a job. ANY job. I finally got a great job that I loved. It was the best thing that could have happened to me at the time. My self esteem grew like crazy. The people I worked with appreciated me and told me how good I was!!! That was over 2 years ago and I feel blessed to have found the job that was right for me. I haven't made a ton of money, but it's helped me grow in ways I wouldn't have grown otherwise.
I wish you strength in what you need to get what you want. If I can pull myself up from the black hole I was in, I think anyone can.
Keep working at it and you will find the answers.LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:500036
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/500181.html